When I picture “ pessimism” in my head it, it always appears to me in my mind in the form of a heartless, selfish bitch. One that often disguises herself cloaked in a false concept of “realism”. Ha, what pure bullshit, one can completely be realistic and yet manage to be not a pessimist.

I’ve come to realize that my (teenage) angsty-self has finally gone to Rest In Peace. Imagine, what kind of person goes out of their way looking for reasons to be miserable? But moreover what I’ve realized the most is that, if the biggest problems in my life are having to clean a messy room and kitchen, being somewhat broke, looking less than perfect, and extremely clumsy, (and a few other minor yet somewhat more personal things) then hey, Life is Great!

I mean, alright so I’m going to have to get off my lazy ass and do some serious housework in the near future, and on a lousy 6 hours of work a week, I dont really have enough money to live all that comfortably. But OMG! I’m friggen alive and well, the sun is shining, I have people who love me, (and people to love) a house, loads of water available, more food than some people see in a life time (Damn, most of the food in North America goes to waste >.< ), and a family (that is far from normal ).But most importantly I am free to make decisions in my everyday life. (including weither to be happy or not) Happiness is a decision.

I’ve been so happy since realizing this a month or so ago, that I think I’ve lost my mind. I mean when most people think “Cat” or “Catherine” I’m sure words like pessimistic, frown,serious ect come to mind. But no more, I mean I have seriously been grinning like a complete idiot all month long. If this i what it is, to be insane, then my God, what a beautiful place insanity is.